There is a belief floating around that pushes us to constantly focus on whether or not we have self-esteem. The myth: if you feel good about yourself, you can accomplish anything.

We spend tons of time, money and energy trying to build our self-esteem. There are even self-esteem classes taught in our grade schools now, at least until the next budget cut. A few years ago, a math test was given to 13-year-olds in six countries. The Koreans came in first. Americans did the worst. However, when asked the question, “I am good at math,” only 23 per cent of the Koreans said yes, whereas 68 per cent of the Americans said yes, more than the kids from any other country.

Self-esteem is a wonderful thing to have. Yet without skills, knowledge, experience and talent, it will only take you so far in life. And on the other hand, we can still accomplish great things in life without feeling good about ourselves every day. Consider the works of Van Gogh, Einstein and Katharine Hepburn who publicly declared their insecurities and struggles with life.

In fact, how many people do you know who are thoroughly confident in everything they do? Yet, because we think success requires confidence, we spend a good deal of our time berating ourselves for not speaking up when we’re frightened, for not liking our plump derrieres and for worrying about what other people think of us. Then, if someone tells you that you lack self-esteem, you feel as though you are missing an essential ingredient for success and are doomed to fail.

What is the message? We focus too much time, energy and money on building our self-esteem for the sake of self-esteem instead of shoring up the building blocks of our lives that would give us self-esteem, such as feeling smart, capable and worthwhile to others.

The truth is that although self-esteem is a wonderful trait that will help us to earn and attract good things into our lives, it will not ensure success. And many people who have had holes in their self-esteem have accomplished great things. Self-esteem is only one of the factors that should be considered when we look to develop ourselves. Another factor is self-acceptance including loving ourselves, or at least not negatively judging ourselves, when we feel helpless, inferior and vulnerable.

Yes, it is good to have self-esteem. And it is just as important to have talents, imaginative ideas and developed skills. Self-esteem alone does not determine your ability to live your life fully.

You are a unique human being. You should know what is good about you, accept your strengths and carry them with you into the world. And it’s okay to acknowledge your limitations, knowing you are coping, changing and developing as best you can.

Whether you love yourself or not, you can still accomplish great things. Whether you love yourself or not, you can still rise above your life circumstances. Whether you love yourself or not, you can be successful and happy.

Get off your case. Love who you are becoming. Accept the flaws that make you human. Then focus on building your skills, increasing your knowledge, connecting with your friends, discovering what makes you feel passionate about life and spending as much time as you can laughing. In the end, you might find that your self-esteem builds naturally.

Marcia Reynolds, author of Capture the Rapture: How to Step Out of Your Head and Leap Into Life and her latest, How to Outsmart Your Brain, is the president of Covisioning, a coaching and training company focused on helping people and organizations access emotional intelligence and courage to reach their visions. You can read more about Marcia and her work at this website, www.outsmartyourbrain.com. Find out more about Marcia.